Gaslighting being the word of the year 2022 is still the most ill-considered issue at time.
It is a type of psychological and emotional abuse where one might take control of the victim’s mind by using dominant words or actions consistently till the time when they begin to question their own sanity. It will leave the victim confused with a disrupted reality. They will undermine their own intuition and it alters their brain in a very damaging way. The victims find themselves stuck in a loop with no way out.
Gaslighting is very common in romantic relationships. But there’s no doubt that it does exist in platonic and family relationships as well. There’s also this possibility that When you finally get to know the right definition of the Term “gaslight” you might find out you have been gaslighting your own self the whole time without knowing.
How to know if you’re being gaslighted?
For instance, In a Relationship may it be romantic or platonic, while addressing a problem you often get such responses:
- Your feelings are stupid and invalid.
- You’re making things up in your head.
- You’re probably just overthinking.
- You are overreacting.
- You are making a big deal out of something that’s Not Even important.
- You are way too sensitive for me.
- I’m the one who’s hurt because of the way you reacted to my disrespect.
- You are crazy, i can’t deal with it.
- That’s not what I meant. Your fault If you Took it that way.
- I can’t deal with your unnecessary emotions right now.
Or worst case scenario, they run away avoiding the whole situation just because they don’t want to take care of it. They simply refuse to listen. They even try to make you look deranged by letting you down in front of people or by manipulating other people’s minds forcing them to see the Problem in you as well.
Now you see instead of taking the accountability of their actions and fixing the problem, they’re trying to turn things around in a way that you start to question your own judgments. You begin to think maybe you really are just making a big deal out of nothing, it’s your fault and you’re the one who is acting crazy.
So you just give up on the whole situation. This way the abuser will take the control of your mind molding your thoughts into whatever they want and take the win whilst you’re there alone, insecure and powerless blaming yourself for everything. next time you avoid to communicate your issues because you’re so scared of how it went the Last Time and you don’t want to feel the same way again. You my friend are a victim of gaslight. The sooner you realize the better.
How it affects your mental health
Gaslighting is the Most Dangerous Type of mental abuse. It makes you anxious, depressed and you start to blame yourself for the wrongdoings of other person. You think maybe you deserved all the mishaps and tragedy. You become delusional. You’re scared to leave them because you think you’re the Problem and they’re just putting up with you and you consider this as their effort. You find yourself constantly apologizing to their toxicity
You find yourself defending their hurtful behavior in front of other people. You isolate yourself. It’s an actual journey From being called crazy to actually being Crazy In no time.
Why do people gaslight? Intentional or unintentional?
Gaslighters might have the narcissistic personality disorder where they lack the sense of empathy for the other person. They’re basically self-centered to an extent that they only care about their needs and requirements. And they tend to ignore the feelings and needs of people around them. People with this disorder believe that whatever they do could never go wrong and when someone tries to mention them being wrong in a situation, their best response is to gaslight them.
Some people are just not used to solving problems. They find it easy to just ignore it or to run away. They use gaslighting as their coping mechanism. They simply refuse to not deal with it. Others might have this dominating personality where they like to control others. They take control of their minds and make it work in their own favor and instead of feeling remorse, they enjoy the situation where they guilt trip the other person into being the abuser.
They feel satisfied and powerful when they know that they’re able to take control of someone’s life and they can make them believe or do whatever they want. Also such people like to keep their victims hooked to their toxic manners. They make it harder for them to leave.
Gaslighters may have their reasons but this behavior can never be justified. Such people need psychological help so they can stop destroying lives knowingly or unknowingly. They need to know themselves better. They need to Change themselves in a good way for the betterment of others and their own selves as well.
How to save yourself from gaslighters
In your intimate relationships When you meet someone, you don’t know what a person is capable of. They either make you or break you. In the Early Talking stages or let’s say in the “honeymoon phase” You’re Not able to find much about a person because they are considerate, loving, caring and the best Partner anyone could have. There might be a possibility that they’re pretending just to secure their place in your life.
Gradually they start to show their true selves and you get to see their horrible cruel sides you never thought existed in the first place. It gets hard to deal with them but still for the sake of the relationship, you keep on tolerating the things you should not let slide. During the process, you might not know but you become a victim of many awful consequences.
Try to know people better. Try to understand the patterns. Most importantly know when you’re being exploited. When people show you their true colors, don’t stick to the person they were in the start when they were pretending to be the best.
When you know you’re dealing with someone who is incapable of handling your valid emotions. Just try to remove yourself from such situations and relationships. Don’t let anyone take hold of your Powers. Trust yourself. Trust your intuitions. When you feel like you’re being mistreated, know that you’re actually being mistreated no matter what the other person tries to implement on you.
Make yourself Strong enough so you’re able to remove yourself from anything toxic Know that you have the right to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. When you tell someone they Hurt you they do not get to decide that they didn’t. They are your feelings and if someone can’t respect them or handle them properly they simply don’t deserve a place in your life.